I'm an eighteen year old girl trying to find happiness * VIE
Azriel honestly just stood there throughout the entire first half of ACOSF going “I shall offer to chaperone, I shall let them fuck like bunnies, I shall cockblock at certain times so they’re desperate for each other, and then let them go on sprees for days. This is how I win the Snowball War.”
Okay so there are so many reasons why I fucking adore Nesta and Cassian, but my biggest is that Cassian doesn’t love Nesta because they’re mates, or because he has to. He loves Nesta because she is Nesta.
Cassian leaned to whisper in her ear, “The first time I saw that look on your face, you were still human. Still human, and I nearly went to my knees before you.
Yes, Cassian does admit that he knew they were mates the moment they met, but he appreciated her for her fierceness, her wrath, and her will. He admired her beauty, yes, but it was the darkest parts of her that immediately caught his attention, and never let go.
Cassian doesn’t just love the “good” parts of Nesta, either (i.e her strength, wit, beauty), but also the flawed, more jaded parts of her character as well. He loves her brashness, her temper, her fire. He loves her even when she is selfish and cruel and terrified. I love Feysand, don’t get me wrong, but I think a lot of their relationship is based on very superficial things such as the whole idea of Rhys essentially saving feyre. Nesta didn’t want to be saved, so Cassian didn’t save her, he helped her overcome her fear and trauma. He made her whole again without “fixing” her, because he was the only one who didn’t think her broken. What the IC saw as weakness in Nesta, Cassian saw as virtue. Nesta wasn’t allowed to be traumatised the way Feyre and Elain were. She wasn’t supported or helped or loved. No one reached out except him. Feyre especially enabled her for months, and then decided to judge her and accuse her and do to Nesta exactly what Tamlin did to herself. She, as well as the rest of the IC, are hypocrites.
Then there’s the argument that Nesta treated Cassian unfairly.
Nesta had loved Cassian since she’d first laid eyes on him. Had loved him even when she did not want to, even when she had been swallowed by despair and fear and hatred. Had loved him and destroyed herself because she didn’t believe she deserved him, because he was all that was good, and brave, and kind, and she loved him, she loved him, she loved him
She did treat him unfairly, 100%, but Nesta was suffering immensely with BPD, trauma, and alcohol abuse. When she was pushing Cassian away, it wasn’t to hurt him, but to punish herself. Unlike everyone else, Cassian saw that, knew that, and did everything he could to stop her hurting because he loved her and had from the start. Even when he believed her to be selfish and conceited and unkind (as of acomaf).
But, off of that point, there are multiple occasions where Cassian treats Nesta poorly also, mostly in regards to Mor (who I’m not even going to get into rn). But, when Mor is around, Cassian is embarrassed to be seen close to Nesta, and distances himself from her, ashamed of his feelings but disregarding hers too.
Nesta and Cassian, to me, have the strongest, purest, and most compelling journey throughout the series because of everything they had to overcome within themselves. Rhys and Feyre go through countless outside enemies (and yes, Feyre’s depression, too), but Nessian’s battles are internal, and they have to truly find themselves before they can find each other, and that is what is beautiful about their story.
Cassian loves all of Nesta, and Nesta loves all of him. Their love his not conditional, nor superficial, and it is the realist of the entire ACOTAR series.
I want to get more involved in sustainability/climate change. But I really don’t know where to start. Are there any good resources/books/websites to get involved
don’t ever let anyone make you feel ashamed for not going down a conventional path (e.g. not finishing college or starting college later in life, doing an internship in your late 20s, not having a "career” by a certain age). all of this is arbitrary. do not create a life that aims to satisfy everyone but yourself. you worked hard as fuck to get to where you are. don’t you dare let others including yourself diminish those efforts. you do not deserve that. especially if you did it all while battling mental illness.
